Growing In & Out of Dieting

**This blog turned out longer than I wanted but I guess I had a lot to say! 

It's April and by now I'm sure you've seen something along the lines of...

The wellness industry is a trillion dollar industry that includes nutrition, fitness, and beauty. The infographic below sums it up. 

Everywhere you turn, you are reminded either subtly or blatantly in your face to shed some pounds, look a certain way, or feel a certain way. Companies have amazing marketing teams and reps that will make you feel like you need a product even if you don't. 

When you were little (I'm talking like 5 years old), did you feel the need to diet or not eat certain foods because they were deemed bad? Probably not. You didn't learn that language until later on in elementary or junior high. When you were a kid, you ate according to your hunger signals and what you were craving at that moment. Over the years, dieting has ruined society. I would know. 

When I was little, I ate what ever I wanted. Shipley's Do-nuts and chocolate milk for breakfast, a pint of Blue Bell Cookies and Cream ice-cream in one sitting. I don't remember eating a lot of fruits and vegetables, maybe I did though and just blocked it out. Both my parent worked a lot and I remember ordering a pizza or C&C restaurant (asian/american place by my house) every day one summer because I didn't know how to cook. My mom will deny that to this day and say I'm lying lol. Being active was second nature when it was warm out. I played outside, swam every summer, and would roam the neighborhood or the woods attached to it. I was always on the go. People today would say that I just have good genetics, maybe but if that were the case, I could eat the same I did when I was younger (which was total shit) and not gain a pound. I am not that fortunate today. 

It wasn't until my senior year that the diet mentality crept in. I was shopping for a prom dress and found the perfect one only to realize that it was like 1/2 a size too small. I remember telling my mom that I had a month to lose the weight to fit in it. I started doing actual workout cardio, sitting in the sauna, and eating less. I hate to admit this but a week before prom, the dress was still tight and I was calling everyone I knew that took Adderall asking if they would sell me some. I was desperate! I tell you this as a lesson that no dress, boy or body size is worth taking drugs. Luckily, my friends were awesome hoarders and wouldn't sell any. I went to prom starting the night in a dress that was difficult to breath in and ending it thinking about how much fun I had. The dress stretched out just enough that it wasn't tight by the end of the night.

I put myself under stress for no reason. 

That diet mentality got worse after I graduated and went off to college. I started hanging out with people that were super active and fit (because they played sports in high school!) and didn't eat "junk" food. They say that you are like the 5 people you are around the most. I started running more, lifting weights, and dieting trying to accomplish some unrealistic goal that magazines and tv shows were portraying. Fast forward a few years later, I became a personal trainer and fell in love with the nutrition section of the course. I knew I needed to know more and that's where my path in dietetics began. I thought that if I went to school for nutrition, I can learn the magic ways to lose weight and help other people.

My undergrad program only screwed me up more!

I learned that foods were either good or bad. I learned how to count calories. I learned that most people in the nutrition field have some sort of disordered eating (it has taken me a long time to admit that I was one of them). Since I was a trainer, I started reading more about sports nutrition for bodybuilding and cutting. That's were the macro obsession started. I counted macros off and on for about 4 years. I meal prepped every Sunday, weighed everything out and ate out of tupperware. It almost caused a divorced because I was miserable to be around when it came to food. 

My saving grace were two ladies named Amanda and Ander. They have a program called Hot & Healthy Habits that focuses on intuitive eating. I went to their retreat and the walls that dieting had built up, started to come down. Do you want to know what the turning point was? I was on a call with Ander and told her that I wanted to lose weight before getting pregnant so it was less weight that I would have to lose after. She told me, "Ashley, if you did that, then immediately got pregnant, you are just going to gain it back plus some rather than just letting your body do what it needs to do naturally." At least thats what I think she said LOL. It may have been a bit different but still the same message of chill out, its not worth it. I can hug her for that kick in the butt and probably will when I see her this year! 

Recovering from a lifetime of dieting won't happen overnight. Its going to take work and recognizing everyday that restriction will never promote health. 

Intuitive eating has changed my life! At first it was messy. I did binge at times but my mind and body now trust each other to know that food will always be there if I want it. I don't have to treat food like its a last meal anymore. I don't restrict. I listen to my hunger and fullness signals. I listen to my cravings. Some days I don't want veggies and some days I'll eat a gigantic salad. I am more healthy now mentality and physically than I was when I was in the dieting phase of life. About 3 years ago, my labs were all efed up and my most recent lab work came back normal. 

I'm telling you that long story to show that there is a better way. I recently watched a friend of a friend go through a competition prep on Snapchat to see that all she freaking talked about was cinnamon rolls and Mexican food.  She was restricting food so much that that was all it seemed like she talked about. It was heart breaking to see her put all that stress on herself (excessive cardio and restriction) just to prove a point that she could be on stage for what 3 seconds? I completely understand that people have goals, I am not telling you not to. Im saying that when your goal takes over your life and is making you miserable, you need to reassess that goal. 

Don't make a goal for weight loss because weight loss will never promote health. There is a ton of research to prove that and I will add it later. Make a goal to move more, to drink more water, to eat more fruits and vegetables, or to stretch more. Make goals that have nothing to do with food or exercise. Make self-care goals. Take a nap, sleep in, go get a hair cut if you've been putting it off. 

Bottom line...  

Dieting doesn't work. If you have been off and on a diet for years, there is a better way. If you have tried every diet under the sun and nothing has worked, doesn't that say something? I promise it's not you.